This is How it Lives
by QueenoftheRory
Summary: Sometimes while she's laying in her bed, halfway between awake and asleep back in 1945, Amy Pond reflects on her life with the Doctor.


**Okay, so um, it's 3:30 AM and I got inspiration to write this about half an hour ago while listening to _Amy's Theme_ from the Doctor Who soundtrack.**

**This might be horrible, but meh. I just felt the desire to write. Hope you enjoy :)**

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Sometimes while she's laying in her bed, halfway between awake and asleep back in 1945, Amy Pond reflects on her life with the Doctor.

She wonders what her life would be if she had never met the Doctor.

Normal, for one thing. But sometimes normal isn't always what people want. Sure, if Amy had never met the Doctor, she would have lived a normal little life in Leadworth and she wouldn't be stuck here in 1945. She probably would have been able to raise her daughter, and she would have had a happy life with her family.

_But, would I ever have even had a family at all?_ She wonders to herself.

It made sense, really. Melody (or, Mels at the time) was the one that made sure that she and Rory got together in the first place. So, if the Doctor hadn't crashed in Amy's backyard when she was just a little girl, she might not have even fallen in love with Rory to begin with. And if she hadn't fallen in love with Rory, then Melody wouldn't exist either.

_That's another thing_, she thinks. She misses her daughter terribly.

Before any of them actually knew that Amy was pregnant, she had never even considered the idea of a child. Their lives, after and a bit before marriage, were spent on the run with the Doctor. Where would a child have fit into that anyway?

But on Demon's Run, after the Doctor sonic-ed the flesh version of her consciousness away, Amy held her baby girl for the first time. Of course, it was only to have the child ripped right out of her arms. However, in that moment, Amy had wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Often, she regrets ever letting the wretched woman take her child away from her.

_I should have fought them with everything I had..._

_But really, would it have done any good at all?_

Yet again, if Melody had never become Mels, then her daughter might not have existed at all (the whole timey-wimey-ness of the situation _still _gives her a major headache). And Amy would rather have her daughter alive out there somewhere than to not have her exist at all, even if it means that River is older than her and that she's married to Amy's very best friend.

~DW~

When Amy receives a package in the mail in 1946 from River, she is shocked, to say the very least. Eight years later, and this is the first that she had heard from Melody at all. Part of her is hurt, but then she remembers what it's really like to travel with the Doctor. Communication with the outside world (well, universe) is nearly impossible.

Inside of the package, along with the final draft of _Melody Malone_ is a note.

_Dear Mum,_

_Hello. I know that I probably haven't written to you or contacted you in years, and I'm sorry. You must realize that I am sending this to you only a few months after I saw you and dad last, in Manhattan._

_I miss you both terribly._

_Sometimes at night when I can't sleep, I pull out the few things of yours that I've hung onto, just to feel your closeness. I know it's silly, but one of the things that I kept is the pillow from your bed. It still has your smell and it comforts me at night when my mind is racing to the dark places. _

_It's selfish of me to wish that you two were still here with us, but I do wish it. Not a day goes by when I don't think about you, and I know that the same goes for the Doctor. _

_He's getting better, by the way. I've stayed here with him for a while to make absolutely certain that he is okay, and he's much better than he was a few months ago. He's even found a new companion._

_There's one small favor I do need to ask of you though. As you have probably noticed, I also sent you __the final draft of the book for you to publish. Can you please write an afterword for the Doctor? The day you two were taken away from us, he would not listen to me when I told him not to be alone (stubborn thing that he is...). I know he'll listen to you though. So please, just do this for me._

_I love you, mum, and perhaps I'll find a way to come visit you soon. Give dad a kiss on the cheek for me._

_-Your Melody x_

Amy rereads the note what seems like a hundred times, as if she thinks it's going to disappear and cease to exist if she looks away for too long.

~DW~

It takes her months to find the right words, but she finally finishes the afterword of the book. Through all of the tears and difficulties whilst writing it, she knows that this is what her Doctor needs. He needs to hear from _her_ that she's moved on and he should do the same, and everything's going to be okay. They'll still have all of their laughs and memories forever.

She sends the book to be published under an anonymous title almost immediately after she finishes the afterword, and one night right before she falls asleep, Amy's eyes snap open. Suddenly, as if from out of nowhere, she has a new memory of her childhood.

~DW~

That same night she had waited outside all of those hours for the Doctor, she specifically remembers a strangely-dressed man walking up to her. He was wearing Victorian clothing, yet his face looked very much like her Raggedy Doctor's. The only difference was that he looked much, _much _older.

He had asked if he could join her, and she remembers nodding in both confusion and curiosity. The strange man asked her why a little girl like her was sitting outside all alone, and she had explained how she was waiting for her best friend to come back. She can still remember his sad smile at the answer.

_'Let me tell you what,'_ he had told her, _'Your best friend is going to come back in a while. And boy are you in for the time of your life. Now let me tell you a little story..._

"_Once upon a time, there was a little girl who waited twelve years for her best friend to come and see her. Nobody believed her when she told them about her friend, and children often made fun of her for it. One day though, he came back. She traveled with him for many years, until she finally returned home to wed the love of her life. Her best friend showed up at her wedding reception, and everyone was shocked to finally see the little...well, now grown-up girl's "imaginary" friend. After the wedding, the girl saw more than many people would ever see in their lifetime. She fought pirates at sea, the love of her life fought for two-thousand years- can you imagine!- two-thousand years to keep her safe, she gave the greatest painter in the universe hope, and she saved a whale in outer space. _

"_I'm telling you this story, because I know that someday you'll be just as amazing as this girl. If you're patient, my friend, the days are coming that you will never, ever forget."_

This is the story of Amelia Pond and her Raggedy Doctor.

And this is how it lives.

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**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated :)**


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